Double trouble: Faye and Nick blog Week Four!
Saturday, 10 October 2009
It’s a little-known fact that there are two of us here at Strictly Dancers. You usually get the benefit of Faye’s opinion (she’s the short female one who knows just enough about dance to be dangerous), but this week’s blog comes from Nick (the VERY TALL male one who doesn’t).
Though Faye still has a few things to say about week four’s shenanigans. Like how most of the Strictly pros still don’t really know what to do with a salsa after three years. And how the foxtrot is still, for the most part, stultifyingly dull. And how someone’s putting acid in the costume designers’ coffee.
On with the dances!
Zoe Lucker and James Jordan
Dance: foxtrot
Music: This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) (Natalie Cole)
Nick: James looked almost respectable in his tails, and while Zoe danced this well, I didn’t see the sex appeal that Bruno did. While Zoe is pretty decent and has the potential to get better, there’s something lacking from her performances. Come on Len, was it really one mark off a 10? I don’t think so!
Faye: I quite respect Zoe for blagging the end of the paso last week, but I didn’t like the music (again) for this, and the choreo reminded me of Cherie Lunghi’s from last year. It’s James’ ballroom hands: they freak me out.
Chris Hollins and Ola Jordan
Dance: cha-cha-cha salsa
Music: Micaela (King Bongo)
Nick: Well the choreography was appalling, but Chris gave it a good go and didn’t look out of place. Craig only gave them a five, which I think was a bit harsh, but I guess 25 was a fair total score. Hopefully Chris will kick on from this, because he’s a likeable chap who dances with a bit of personality.
Faye: The opening outs in this made me prick up my "Aha! A Strictly pro putting cha-cha steps in the salsa!" ears. I didn’t think the extrovert flourishes Ola put in really suited Chris, but I’m hoping he might find his dance next week if he gets jive.
Lynda Bellingham and Darren Bennett
Dance: foxtrot
Music: Calendar Girl (Neil Sedaka)
Nick: Well I really wasn’t looking forward to them, and it was pretty much as expected. Lynda wouldn’t have looked out of place in a Texan whorehouse, and yet again the music was terrible! Stiff, stompy, DULL! How Len gave this a 7 I really don’t know…
Faye: The costume department hasn’t been kind to Lynda, that’s for sure. Pleasant enough, but Nick’s right about Len’s score. It was horribly overmarked.
Brian Fortuna and Ali Bastian
Dance: salsa
Music: Quimbara (Celia Cruz)
Nick: Well this was nice. Actually it was pretty impressive, even if the complex arm routines made it look a bit messy. This girl can dance, but it needed some Reggae Reggae Sauce to spice it up a bit. Mixed comments from the judges but they all ended up giving it 8.
Faye: And from overmarked to chronically undermarked. Len thought this was only one point better than Lynda’s foxwalk?! Oh, please! Brian gave Ali a lot to do, and she handled it very well. We haven’t seen many proper salsas on the show, but this was definitely one of them, and it didn’t score highly enough against the rest of tonight’s offerings.
Jo Wood and Brendan Cole
Dance: foxtrot
Music: Crazy (Jane Horrocks)
Nick: Akin to an eight year old dancing with her dad – Jo looked the part, but she’s still struggling. Craig made me smile by declaring that it was her personal best and then giving her a 4, but no verbal abuse from Brendan this week.
Faye: Would the pod people kindly remove this imposter and bring back the real Brendan Cole?
Natalie Cassidy and Vincent Simone
Dance: salsa
Music: You’ll Be Mine (Party Time) (Gloria Estefan)
Nick: Vincent is kidding himself if he thinks he and Natalie will ever make the top of the leaderboard, and while you can’t knock Natalie’s enthusiasm, I thought this was overmarked. Not terrible, but not setting the world on fire.
Faye: Time for the obligatory Gloria Estefan salsa tune. Natalie’s still struggling with stamina, and this dance noticeably ran out of steam in the middle.
Joe Calzaghe and Kristina Rihanoff
Dance: foxtrot
Music: Feeling Good (Michael Buble)
Nick: I’m surprised Len didn’t remark on the fact that it took them half an hour to get into hold, but they made it through. He’s still rubbish though.
Faye: You won’t be saying that to his face if he comes to our show on 25 October. We thought it was quite sweet. He is improving, but not fast enough to get him off the bottom of the table.
Laila Rouass and Anton du Beke
Dance: foxtrot
Music: Just In Time (Frank Sinatra)
Nick: Have to agree it was the best foxtrot of the night, but it’s got to be so much easier for the female celebs in the ballroom. She really couldn’t go wrong with Anton. Solid. But 9s from Len and Alesha? It’s week four for Chrissakes, it wasn’t THAT good.
Faye: Agreed that it was the best ballroom dance of the night, and one of the few foxtrots with proper music, but again very safe, very middle of the road, very Anton. Less than 24 hours later, I can’t think of anything memorable about it.
Ricky Whittle and Natalie Lowe
Dance: salsa
Music: Dancing Machine (Jackson Five)
Nick: A bit of a backlash from the judges tonight, which isn’t a bad thing, and I have to agree that while it was good, it wasn’t their best dance.
Faye: I don’t like being negative about the celeb who is probably still the best dancer in the competition, but Ricky just bores me. There’s no story, no progression – just Natalie’s steely determination to win. Salsa was ok, but you couldn’t have done that backflip in a club!
Craig Kelly and Flavia Cacace
Dance: foxtrot
Music: Sometimes When We Touch (Dan Hill)
Nick: I feel a bit sorry for Craig, he really wants to do well but is flattering to deceive. More Thunderbird puppet than Hollywood idol; it wasn’t great to watch. I called this for the dance-off, and was right!
Faye: Flav’s had a few nasty dresses this year, and this was no exception. Can we say sackcloth and ashes? The song choice was ironic because I don’t feel any connection between Craig and Flavia, Craig and the music or Craig and the audience. He can’t be long for the Strictly world.
Jade Johnson and Ian Waite’s trousers
Dance: samba salsa salsamba (with thanks to Monkseal)
Music: La Isla Bonita (Madonna)
Nick: Nice trousers Ian. Not! The judges called this right: lots of attack but lacked control. A bit like a daddy long legs bouncing off a lightbulb.
Faye: MY EYES MY EYES OH GOD MY EYES. And that’s all I’m going to say about what Ian was wearing. Okay, this was the biggest culprit of the non-salsa salsa, given that it was danced to a song with a samba beat, with a whole load of samba steps. I liked Bruce’s Isle of Man quip though.
Ricky Groves and Erin Boag
Dance: foxtrot
Music: All Of Me (Frank Sinatra)
Nick: What, not going last this week? Unfortunately Ricky was doing ballroom tonight and failed to shine. Again Len overmarked this by at least a point. An eight? Nooooo!!
Faye: It was overmarked, because there’s no way in hell this was as good as Ali and Brian’s salsa (seriously, Len, you’re making a fool of yourself), but I like (this) Ricky and it’s good to see him progress in his weaker discipline.
Phil Tufnell and Katya Virshilas
Dance: salsa
Music: Long Train Running (Doobie Brothers)
Nick: Phil closed the show, perhaps put on last to give his knee the maximum amount of time to recover. It was obvious they had missed a couple of days training, but as always Phil gave it what for, although the opening bum wiggling routine was a bit much. Someone please tell me what Bruno said, and this time it was Craig who got his paddles mixed up.
Faye: I believe Bruno used the word "arse", which still isn’t as bad as "the hills are alive with the sound of bullshit" from a couple years ago. Loved the song choice, and given that Phil had knee surgery last Sunday he did well to produce a credible routine.
Overall it felt a bit like going through the motions tonight. No in-fighting between the judges, no answering back by the pro dancers. At least Ricky will be back on the Latin next week…
Tonight’s filler
Nick: The tap dancing was jolly irritating, and then the the pro ladies came out and waved their arms around a lot. It improved when Kristina and Aliona turned up, but it all left me a bit cold. And it wasn’t the ice-cream I was eating at the time.
And then Amy Winehouse, and some teenage singer who probably wouldn’t cut it on X-Factor. They must have blown their budget on Andy Williams.
Faye: Yes, but Matt Cutler got his tatt out again. And completely outdanced Aliona. Please God let’s see him jive soon.
The dance-off
Nick: The dance-off had an air of inevitablity: both couples producing pretty wooden performances on the night. Lynda did a competent job but her time had come. Maybe Craig will perform better next week if he’s got nothing to lose.
Faye: We thought Lynda would go through, but there wasn’t much to choose between them. It’s interesting that we’ve now lost two entire pro partnerships: Darren and his syrup Lilia and Matt and Aliona. Also interesting that for the second week, Zoe and James were left to suffer under the lights until quite late on, and so were Jade and Ian’s trousers. That "no particular order" thing doesn’t fool me…
Next week: Viennese waltz and jive. Sadly, as Darren’s gone out, there’ll be no Darren-jive tie action, but we can look forward to an Anton jive instead…